Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
