her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize