There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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