you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
this is an emotional support booty call
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Your penis caused this!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
