I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
