Texts From Last Night

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  (765): View more from Indiana

  laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?

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  (765): laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you? http://tfl.nu/4i1p
  Replies (41) Good night (1185) Bad night (4370)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha

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  (717): I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha http://tfl.nu/f9u5
  Replies (40) Good night (4404) Bad night (895)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight

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  (612): Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight http://tfl.nu/a290
  Replies (69) Good night (1398) Bad night (9148)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.

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  (781): I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed. http://tfl.nu/ju0g
  Replies (14) Good night (1111) Bad night (5209)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.

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  (608): He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles. http://tfl.nu/pu4v
  Replies (20) Good night (3720) Bad night (1226)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.

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  (304): Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better. http://tfl.nu/8g47
  Replies (4) Good night (2506) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He sprained his penis one time

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis

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  (603): He sprained his penis one time (603): He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis http://tfl.nu/1fye
  Replies (21) Good night (672) Bad night (2324)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She's the worst person, but the best naked person

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  (248): She's the worst person, but the best naked person http://tfl.nu/e5d7
  Replies (7) Good night (1817) Bad night (545)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.

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  (412): Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab. http://tfl.nu/yqci
  Replies (5) Good night (1361) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?

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  (832): Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing? http://tfl.nu/oh1w
  Replies (11) Good night (900) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.

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  (910): I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy. http://tfl.nu/uqk4
  Replies (2) Good night (1082) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.

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  (306): because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you. http://tfl.nu/mk33
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Agreed.

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  (610): Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises (267): Agreed. http://tfl.nu/uh2x
  Replies (0) Good night (883) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.

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  (416): He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came. http://tfl.nu/cj68
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth

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  (732): Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth http://tfl.nu/jmpm
  Replies (0) Good night (473) Bad night (286)

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