Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.