Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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