it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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