We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
