We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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