'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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