Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
