the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
