I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
