some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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