I wish I could teleport
i was born a porn star she said
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
nutella sex= disaster
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
