I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
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I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize