I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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