I feel great
I just peed on a car
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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