I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
