The maid of honor just puked.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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