i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize