Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
