your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize