Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
