he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
