What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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