are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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