Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
