i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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