:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
