So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
