i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize