Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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