She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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