I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize