was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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