you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
