Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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