I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
