ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
