i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
