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I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
