these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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