Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
