all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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