he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
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Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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