I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
