I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
