i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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