I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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