can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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