I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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