In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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