i jhust puked up my retainher.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
