Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just gift wrapped bread.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
