Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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