what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
