There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You made out with two different species that night
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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