You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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