So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
