Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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