A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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