we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
