your thong is hanging out like whoa
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
