I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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