Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Houston, we have a squirter
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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