you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
