Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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