Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
