wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize