Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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